1. The best way to know when your asparagus is done is when you’re bored and don’t want to wait to eat it.
2. Breast cancer is a made of suck disease that attacks one of my very favourite organs of ladies.
3. Albert Einstien was a Physicist. Not a quotation…
my friends sister was telling me about how in highschool a guy tried to take a picture up her skirt as she was walking up stairs and she saw, grabbed his phone, broke it in half, and handed it back to him and said “you can tell your mom why your phones broken”
for a second I forgot about flip phones and I was like how in the holy hell did she rip a phone in half
SHAKESPEARE WROTE THAT ALL THE WORLD’S A STAGE.
HIS THEATER WAS CALLED THE GLOBE.
NOT ONLY WAS THAT LINE PHILOSOPHICAL AND DEEP
BUT IT WAS ALSO A FUCKING PUN
That’s pretty much Shakespeare in a nutshell. Is a line philosophical? Satirical? A pun? A dirty joke? Chances are, it’s all of the above.
there are no chances
it is most definitely all of the above